i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
