so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
