Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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