brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
