and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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