we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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