I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
