I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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