If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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