You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I think I just sharted jello shots
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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