I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
