so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
