P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
