I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
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