Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
