ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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