I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
