Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Operation Purity has been aborted
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize