I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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