if you like me you must not know who I am
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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