I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
