hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
