I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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