So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
