The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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