i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize