I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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