i think i have two assholes
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
