Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
