the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Randomize
