were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
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