Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Let's paint friendship bongs
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
