oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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