She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
