i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
