I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize