OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
