i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
