covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
