What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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