Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
