I will die if light touches me.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Pants are for mortals
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
