She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
