first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
