Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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