dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
