My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Are we still banned from the library?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
