So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
