I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I have post one night stand depression
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