I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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