put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
