The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
