remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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