I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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