I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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