Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
