Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
