mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
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