I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
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Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
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