is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
