You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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