Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
