Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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