So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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