I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize