shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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