The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
