Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
