Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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