i can't believe i had my finger in that
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
