I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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