Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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